Im
Courtney,a 15th year old girl who is super humble,always insulted by
others,a total nerd,yet I’m a lonely genius.I had a crush on a guy who is
famed,his name is Adam.He’s 16.He owns a thick eyelashes, a presentable
hair,and two glazed eyeballs.I know I couldn’t have him,because I have a
terrific look,while he’s good looking.
After
school,I standed right in front of the mirror.I saw this amazing view.I saw
ugly.I saw unpretty and horrible.I saw flaws,chubby cheeks.I saw a bloated
tummy , and a thigh with no gap.I’ve never wanted to have this curvy body
,large waist,and untoned legs.
I lift my
long wavy hazel brown hair upward,and put it into a messy bun.I change my dress
for school into a legging and a shirt.I come downstairs to grab some oat
cookies and a glass of orange juice,then I head back to my room.I open my
laptop and start turning it on.I bite my cookie,little by little.When it’s 9.30
already,I turn my laptop off,charge it,and jump into my bed.I take my phone and
I seek into my Instagram and/or Twitter timeline until I feel sleepy.
The next
day at school,I noticed that there’s a new information on the school’s ‘PIN IT’
board.There’s that one news,saying that soon,our school will have prom
night.Everyone must attend it,because the school is about to celebrate
valentine’s day ! I’m super excited,yet nervous because I still do not know
whom to come with on prom night which will be held on next week’s Friday night.
Finally the
bell rings,showing that the school’s over.I step inside my mom’s car.I tell her
that the school will have prom night next week.
“Then it means that you need to get a new dress asap.And…”
said mom.I cut her words off and say ,”but mom,who wants to go prom with me?I
have this awful body,a bloated tummy.I’ll look weird while using a tight
dress.” My voice trills,I do not want mom to see me cry.
”Listen,sweetheart.You are not ugly,every girl deserves to
be beautiful,and you are.You are not horrible.Please,stop commenting about all
the flaws you have.Maybe,you can try doing healthy diet.I know you
can,Courtney.”
“I’ll try it by now,thank you mom” I said,as I wipe my wet
eyes with one of my sleeves.
When me and
my mom arrived at home,I head into the kitchen and make a cup of green tea.I
believe that green tea is able to help people lose weight and it also removes
toxics in our body.
I skip
dinner starting from that day.I do not consume lots of meat,yet I consume
vegetables and fruits more.I also do cardio workouts,3-5 times a week.I begin
losing weight.
The next 5
days (which is two days left before prom night),my body changes quite a lot.I
have a little gap between my thigs,but it’s toned.My calves are getting
smaller,my tummy is not bloated anymore.”I love this body shape,but I need to
be skinnier again” It’s Wednesday now,which means I need to get a dress and a
new pair of wedges which matches my dress.I rush into my mom’s room and ask her
whether we can go to the mall or not.She said yes.
At the
mall,mom brought me to a boutique.I see lots of beautiful dresses there.The long
ones,short ones,high-low ones,and the medium length ones.Mom told me that I’d
look pretty if I wear that one dress she pointed.It’s cream-coloured,decorated
with nice white feathers,and it’s a short dress.It fits perfectly on me.I
really like it.My mom asks me to pick the wedges I want.I chose a flat glittery
shoes,because I’m tall already and I want to feel comfortable while dancing.
At
night,Adam texts me.
“Hey :)”
“Hey,Adam.What’s up?”
“Nothing much.Here,I was about to tell you that…”
“That what?” (I act like I don’t even care but actually I
do)
“I’d like to go prom with you…Would you like to come with
me?”
I am so pleased and amused.I can’t believe this.I jump
around my bed.
“Sure.I’d be glad to,Adam. :]”
“Great ! What kind of dress are you going to wear for prom?”
“I’ll be wearing a cream-coloured dress.And you?”
“That’s sweet ! I’ll wear a tuxedo.But still not sure about
the color.I guess I’ll use my cream-cloured one.So it’ll match with yours.:)”
“Aww,okay ! But,why did you ask me to prom with you?I
thought that you’ll go with another pretty girl on your grade?idk”
“Well actually…..I..fall in love…with…”
“Who?me?your grandmother?lol,sorry”
I tried to act normal
“Yep….Im sorry,Courtney :(“
“That’s fine ! Chill J
Shall I tell you this thing or not?”
“If you don’t mind,then please? (:”
“I like you too,a little too much,Adam..”
“Ernn…that’s amazing ! It happens unexpectedly in the most
unexpected time ! What about,going to a further status?”
“What do you mean?Is it..me to be yours and you to be mine?”
“Yes..”
“Let me think about it ! J
I guess it’s late already.You better get some sleep ! See you tomorrow,Adam.”
“Okay,goodnight ! J”
I’m so happy.I couldn’t imagine that my crush could have a
crush on me too.I can’t stop smiling.
The next
morning,I prepare myself ready for school.I am not a total morning person,so I
don’t take a bath in the morning.But don’t worry,I’ve took a bath the night
before.I put my mascara on,a little bit of powder and a lip balm.I decided to
wear a short sunflower dress.I run to the living room and get some packed
almonds.I proceed to the front door directly and I pull my red hight top
Converse and tuck my legs on it.Then my driver drives me to school.
When I show
up at school,I saw Adam on the school’s park.He waves his hands to me and said
hi.I blush and smile to him.He came to me.He asks me to join him at the
park,because he was about to tell me something,I’d like to tell him something
as well.
At the
park,Adam picks a rose which can be found in the school’s park,and gives it to
me.I said thank you.I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.I offer him to sit
under the big tree.And Adam wants.So we continue our conversation there.When I
got no idea about what to say..
“Mm,Courtney,what’s your answer?you know,the question that I
asked you yesterday.”
“Oh yea,that. It’s my pleasure.” As I smile to him.
“Great ! thankyou,sweetheart”
He wraps his arms around my shoulder
“You’re welcome,Adam”
“You’d better go before the bell rings”
“Okay then,see you later.”
“I love you”
“I love you too,text me later ! J”
“I will ! “
I walk to my class and I literally can’t stop grinning.It’s
the best day of my life.
In the following night,I check my
phone and see that Adam has texted me since 15 minutes ago.I said sorry to him.
“Hey there,sorry for not replying it instantly.Had dinner
just now.So what’s going on?:)”
“That’s fine.Nope.I can’t hardly wait for tomorrow.I can’t
wait to see you wearing that beautiful dress ;) “
“Lololol,same here.I can’t wait to see you wear that tuxedo.Whatcha
doing?”
“Just laying around and slack off.What about you,pretty?”
“Awh,stop calling me pretty.Im not,but if you do think
so,thankyou ! :) Just chilling in my room.Anyway,I told my mom that we had a
relationship.She was shock at first.But then she said that she was proud of me
! :D “
“Yes,you are pretty. J
AHH,that’s so sweet of your mom ! Glad to hear that.”
“I know right ! I’m glad too J
Have you tell your parents about our relationship?”
“I’ve told my dad that I liked you before,so both of my
parents,perhaps know about this.I’ll tell them right away.I’ll be back soon”
“Okay”
In the next
5 minutes,Adam texts me back.
“Hello there ! Haven’t sleep yet,right?”
“Nope,of course. J
How was it?”
“Everything is okay ! My parents are both glad of me.My dad
told me to be a gentleman.”
“Well,you are :p “
“Lol,thanks,dear (: “
“Tomorrow is a big day.”
“Yesh”
We text until it’s 12 / 12.30ish
because we won’t have school in the morning tomorrow.We’ll have it at
night,around 6/7ish,which is a great thing because Im NOT a morning person.
It’s finally Friday,which means
it’s a big day for me,Adam,and another couples at school.I woke up at 10 today
because I am not feeling well.I look so pale but Im fine with that.I open
YouTube and search for several makeup and hair tutorial for prom.I finally got
one and it fits well with my outfit.
I
start preparing myself from 4 in the afternoon.I do not use tons of powders
because I don’t want to look totally white.Plus,somehow Im allergic with that.I
use a button up shirt,so that’d be easier for me if I want to change my cloth
to my prom dress.I set a thin layer of eyeliner and wing it out,a mascara,a
tiny bit of blush,and a coral lipstick.
I put those makeup on for around
45 minutes because likely I fail everytime I tried to put a thin layer of
eyeliner.And also,Im not an expert on putting makeups on.After Im done with my
makeup,I took my cream –coloured dress from my closet and wear it.I sneak into
the mirror.I look beautiful.
For my hair,I decided to keep it
simple by putting my bangs into the other side but before that,I braid it
first.I pin my bangs to the back,sepereate my hair into 2 sections,and bring it
to the front side.My phone vibrates.It’s Adam.
“Hey pretty ! are you ready?:p”
“Hey,of course I am,what about you?:)”
“As well.Are you now on your way to school or what?”
“I was about to put on my shoes,and you?”
“Im on my way to school now.Quite early,I guess .-. “
“That’s fine,the sooner,the better ”
“Lol,yes.Go wear your flats J
“
“Okay,a moment,please”
“Back :) “
“Hey,almost there ! What about you?”
“SO fast ! It’s kinda traffc here.But I’ll be there as soon
as possible”
“Okaayy ! I CANT WAIT”
“SAMEE HEREE :b your tuxedo is not too tight,right?”
“Kinda tight,but fine.As long as I can dance with my little
princess”
“Lol,stop.That’s too sweet ! “
“Hahaha,okay.Gotta go now,see you later ;) I love you !”
“See you too,I love you more :) “
*****************
I look out of the car’s window.I
see lots of couples walk together with matched outfits.They’re cute.I walk down
form the car and finally,I stand in front of my class’ door.I am super
twitchy.I come in and everyone is amused.My classmates admit that I look pretty
with this dress.
I go outside to find Adam,because
I am so unindulgent.I can’t wait to see him wearing ‘that’ tuxedo he told me
before.I finally found him,he’s standing on the corner of the school’s hall.
He flourishes his hands to me and
I come there immediately.He looks so saucy.I still can’t believe that I could
go to prom with this one charming 16 year old guy.
“Hey,girl.You look so stunning today.” He said while he
looks at me from head to toe.
“Hey,Adam.Thankyou.You look great with that quite tight
tuxedo.”
“Thanks,hahaha.” He offers me his hands.
We walk inside
the school’s hall.I see this beautiful view.Balloons and heart decorations
everywhere.I see most of the girls wear red dresses,which looks stunning on
them.While most of the guys wear black tight tuxedo.
It’s
finally 6,which means the prom night is about to start.Adam pulls me to the
center position of the hall.Our school’s principle, Mrs.Trinket explains how
thanksfull is she to all of us.She explains the rundown of today’s valentine
celebration.
First thing
is dinner.Each of the couples need to take a seat based on their names written
on the chair.We have dinner at the park.The school’s park is decorated with
lots of pink and yellow lights.It looks so good.Adam offers me a drink and I
take it.We can take lots of foods and beverages by ourselves on the available
tables.I don’t want to eat because I’m not in a really great condition plus Im
still on my diet.
The second activity
we’ll have is the dancing.Every couples need to gather at the hall.I am
standing right beside Adam,and my friend Anne with her boyfriend.The music
starts,and most of the couples start slow dancing
“Wanna dance with me,sweetheart?”
“Sure,Adam”
Adam rises
one of his hands up to my waist and I put mine on his shoulder.He starts saying
sweet things to me.
“You look so stunning.I love you.”
“Thanks,I love you too.
We move sideways,left and right,back
and forth.Everytime I look at him,I often capture him smiling at me,which makes
me smile too. I could see his dimples.It looks cute on him.
We dance
for around 30 minutes.We stop for a while because Adam asks me to move to the
corner.He was about to say and give something to me.As we arrived in the corner
of the hall,he starts grabbing my hand,and he gives me a singlebar of flower.He
hugs me tightly,I hug him back.I lean my head on his shoulder.It’s a good thing
that we could have one another on our arms.
And
eventually,the Prom Night is over.All the couples are so glad and they start
taking pictures with one to another.
My mother
drives me home and asks me how was my Prom with Adam.I said everything is fine
and I had lots of fun with my friends.I also tell her that Adam gave me a red
rose.
When I get
in to my room,I wipe all the makeups which make me feel uncomfortable and pull
my self to the bathroom.I start changing cloth,and wash my face.I went out of
the bathroom and lay on my bed.I take my phone and again,I see a text from
Adam.I read it.
“Hey :) it was a great day.Thankyou,Courtney ! “
“You’re very welcome.Im glad that I could spend that night
with you.You’re such a great boyfriend ! (: anyway,thankyou for the flower,I
like it.”
“I know right ! I’m glad too.You’re such a great girl to
date.You’re welcome J.You
okay?You seemed pasty today.Are you sick?”
“Oh,I thought you did not notice that.I was sick since this
morning.But I’ll get through it.”
“Great then,get well soon,sweetheart..go sleep now.I don’t
want you to be sick.It was a tiring day.”
“Nope,that’s fine J
Im okay !”
“If that’s what you wish for,okay.”
I am
actually not strong enough.I feel so dizzy,my body is shaking,I look pale.My
lips are dry.Afterward,I fell asleep without telling Adam about it.
I could
hear the birds sing outside of my bedroom’s window.My brother,Derek who is
18,came into my room.”You okay?” he said.
“I am” I replied.He walks outside for a while then comes
back into my room again.
“I made this chicken soup for you,early in the morning just
now.”
“Thanks,I’ll eat it as soon as I can.My throat hurts.I’ll be
back soon”
I walk to the bathroom to comb my
hair,brush my teeth,and wash my face.It’s hard for me to walk.When I comb my
hair,my hair falls.It falls out.My legs aren’t that strong.I put one of my
hands on the wall to help me take a step.I see my brother,he’s still in my
room.
He
sits on my table that I apparently use to study.My whole room is a total mess
up.I rest my head on the pillow,while my brother starts to feed me off with a
spoon full of soup.It’s warm and it tastes so good.
“Thankyou,Derek.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Do you mind getting me a cup of
warm water?I’m thirsty.”
“Not at all,”
He goes to the dining table and I
could see him pressing the dispenser.Suddenly I feel something drips.I start to
feel it and I realize that it’s a blood.My nose bleeds.I try to take a piece of
tissue which is placed on my desk.I couldn’t move.Suddenly my body freezes.My
hands and legs are not able to move.I scream.
“Are you alright,sweetheart?”
I started crying,and my brother
stands right behind my mom.Everyone was shock when they see my hands are filled
with blood.
“I’M NOT MOM,PLEASE HELP ME.I
can’t move.It’s hard for me to walk and my hands are kinda freezed.”
“Girl,you’re not okay ! Derek,go prepare the car.We’re going to the hospital !”
“Oh and Derek,please take Courtney’s sweater on her closet
and please put it on the car ! “
“Okay mom,okay ! Chill ! “
When my
brother gets back after preparing the car.he carries me to it.My mom helps me
on taking my socks and sneakers.Everyone is so anxious.Me too,actually.
The nurse
brought me to the emergency room.I am shock.It’s hard for me to breathe.The
doctor gives me and infusion,which perhaps will help me breathe.
In the next
45 minutes,the doctor comes out from the emergeny room after checking my
condition.My mom,Derek,and my doctor talk for a while.Suddenly mom and Derek
come into my room.I see tears flush down their faces.I still don’t understand
about what’s going on with myself.
I am now in
the ICU for 6 days already.I feel uncomfortable with this medical stuffs around
me.
I want to go home.I need to.
It’s now 7
at night.My phone (which is with my mom) rings.My mom answers the call.It’s
from Adam.I believe that he is thrilled about my condition right now.After a
few moment for mom to talk on the phone with him.she gives me my phone.She said
that Adam wants to talk with me.I can’t hold my phone,because my arms and hands
hurt so badly.So my mom sets it with the loud speaker.
“Hey” I said with my trembled voice.
“Hey,been missing you.how are you?”
“Not okay.How’s school?”
“It’s different.Everything is so different when Im not with
you.”
I laughed.Mom and Derek smile at me
“I’ll visit you as soon as I finish my tasks.I need to go
now,get well soon,Courtney”
“Okay,Adam.Thankyou”
He turns
the call off.My brother starts giving me mixed signals.He gives me that
sarcastic look as he teases me.He makes me feel better.
It’s
finally my second week anniversary with Adam.But still,I can’t come to school
because the doctor hasn’t allow me to come back home yet.On 8 at night,my ICU
room bell rings.My brother opens the door,and see that it’s Adam who stands
there.He brought a big bear doll and a flower.He shakes his hands to my
brother’s and my mom’s.And he walks straight to my bed.
“How are you doing?Feel better,huh?”
“Uh-huh.I miss you.”
“I miss you too.You didn’t come to school for 2 weks
already.”
My brother and mom start leaving the room.
“Anyway,happy 2nd week anniversary,Courtney.I
love you to the fullest.”
He grabs one of my hand with his left hand and he strokes
his right hand’s fingertips to my forehead.
“Hey,I thought you forgot.Happy 2nd week
anniversary too,Adam.I love you more than you love yourself.” I smiled.
“Of course,I don’t.I was shock when I heard your mom crying
on the phone when she called me.” Adam’s eyes are filled with water now.
“Wait,what?She told you about that?How?She didn’t tell me
about the sickness I got.What’s that?Why did you cry?”
I am confused.
“You’ll be fine..I know you can handle this.I can’t tell you
now,sweetheart.”
He smiles at me,trying to prevent those tears from falling.
“I know I’ll be fine.But I know you are not.Please,stop
crying.Just,don’t.I don’t want you to be sad.”
We continued talking.But then,Mom and Derek enter my room
again.
“I think I need to go home.It’s almost 10.Im worried with my
mom.”
“Okay then,take care..”
“Get well soon,Courtney.” He strokes my hair then walks to
the door.He said thankyou to Derek and my mom.
I’m glad
that the next 2 days,I can go to school.On Monday after school,I meet my dad.He
hugs me tight and he kisses my cheek.
“My little girl ! Been missing you.How are you?”
“Hey dad ! Same here,I miss you a lot.Im great. And you?”
“As well ! Lets have supper together.Mom is preparing it
right now.And,please,change your cloth.”
“Lol,okay.”
I run
upstairs to change my cloth.I change it into an oversized shirt and a pair of
shorts.I wear myself a pair of knit socks,to make me feel warmer because it’s
kinda chilly outside.I put my long wavy hair into a top knot.I grab my
phone,suck it inside my pocket,and run back downstairs.
Mom,dad,and
Derek are in the dining room already.Mom made me a lasagna which is one of my
favorite foods and a glass of strawberry smoothie.They’re delicious.After Im
done with it,I put my dirty plates in the washbasin and go to the movie room to
watch one of my favorite movie , Catching Fire.
Derek joins
me to watch.In the middle of the movie,I ask him about the sickness I got.
“Derek,is everything okay?”
“Not sure,why?”
“Nope,Adam told me that I’ll be okay.I’ll get through
it.Actually,what’s going on?What sickness did I get?”
Tears started crawling down his cheeks.I wipe his
tears.”Don’t cry”
“The doctor diagnosed that your life in this world is not
that long anymore…”
“I am so upset.My
mind is so flustered right now.I don’t want to leave my brother,my dad,my
bestfriends,and also Adam.Why?This mustn’t happen.”
I said on my mind
I cried.I can’t help
it.
“I’ll be okay,Derek.I really am.Don’t worry.I’ll get through
this.”
My brother kisses me on my forehead and I lean on his
shoulder.
It has
almost been a month since I went home from the hospital and everything was
fine.My mom drives me to school.
I finally arrive at school and I run to Adam’s class,I try
to find him.I really,really want to tell a lot of things to him.I found him,and
ask him to go for a walk.
“Adam”
“Yes,what’s wrong?”
“What if,I’m not here anymore?”
“What do you mean?Did you just mean that,if you die?”
“Perhaps.”
“I’ll be sad.I probably won’t find a girl like you
anymore.But,I do not want it to happen..”
“Me too.I’d like to live forever and stay with you.”
My voice starts shaking,which shows that I am about to burst
out crying.
“Let us just pray that everything will be fine,including
you,pretty.I love you.Don’t cry.”
When I cry,I feel my chest hurts.I can feel my heart beats
so slowly.It’s hard for me to breathe.I was about to fall.
“Are you okay?” said Adam.
“I am” I said while I hold my chest,trying to calm myself
down.
“If I die,later on,I don’t want any single one of
you,especially YOU,Adam to cry.Nope,I do not want that.If I’m gone,it doesn’t mean
that it’s the end of everyone’s life.No.Life goes on,with or without me..I want
you to be strong.Please.And…”
The tears won’t stop.Adam cuts me
in the middle of my word.He hugs me
tightly.I could hear him sniffling. I hug him way tighter and tighter.
It seems like,I don’t want to
leave him.I really don’t want to.
On that
day,I went home earlier because Im not feeling well.I come in to my room and
cry myself to sleep.I don’t want to die.I haven’t make any of my parents feel
proud of me.I start slamming the pillows to the wall.I feel demented.
When I woke
up,I check my phone and see 3 new messages from Adam.
“Hey”
“Are you there,Courtney?”
“Are you okay ? Im so worried about you :’( “
“Hey,sorry.I was sleeping just now.Not really.I mean,not
okay at all.I hope I am,but in fact,Im not.”
“What?No,please.take care of your health.This MUST NOT be
your last day on earth.”
“But what if today is?What’d you do?”
“Stop.You’ll get through this.I know you can.”
I stop
replying him because I cough a lot.I head to to the bathroom because I feel
like I want to throw up.And yes,I throw up.But it’s not the leftovers which
came out.Yet,it’s blood.I start screaming and mumbling,then my my mom comes in
to see what happens.
She cries
and screams at once.She starts flushing the bathtub to remove the blood,and
yells at my brother’s name.My mother explains everything which happens to me to
my brother and my brother starts crying.I know what everyone thinks of.
Soon,my mom
and Derek brought me to the hospital.It’s still the same nurse and doctor who
handles me.I can’t help it anymore.It seems like something shots my back.My
chest hurts so badly.
DEREK’S POV
I couldn’t help but feel.The
doctor starts giving that medical thingy to help my sister breathe.I pull my mom
to my arms,trying to make her feel better (tho I know it won’t work.) My mom
starts calling my sister’s name as she cries.
I need to
call Adam,because if this’d be Courtney’s last day on earth,Adam and the others
won’t be able to see her again.
“Hey,what’s up,Derek?”
“Adam,you’re home,right?”
“No,not yet,but I’m on my way home.Why?”
“Please come to the hospital.NOW.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you as soon as you got here.Talk to you later,bye
!”
“Bye”
I wait
outside of my sister’s room,so that’d be easy for Adam to find me.He runs
fastly and he crashed with several nurses.I explain everything which happened
to Courtney before.He sobs.He couldn’t believe that.The two of us wait outside.
The next 15
minutes,the doctor came out from the room with my mom.Her face is so red and
wet with tears.Her eyes are swollen.
“Wait,what’s going on?Where’s Courtney?” said Adam
curiously.
“She’s not here anymore.We’re sorry.We couldn’t help her.”
That news
hurt so much.I run into my mom and hug her as tight as I can.Adam runs inside
the room right before us.He cries twitchingly.I come inside with my mom and see
that my sister looks so beautiful.It’s a really sad thing knowing that Courtney
is not here anymore.
At 6
o’clock,my big family comes into my sister’s cemetery.This will be the last day
for all of us to see my beautiful,young,annoying yet innocent sister.Adam comes
here too.When we’re about to cover her with the soil,my parents cry way harder
and louder.I can’t help it.Everyone is so sad,including me myself.
When
Courtney is covered already with the soil,my parents and Adam start saying
touching things to her.
“I know you did not allow me to cry when you’re gone.But I
can’t hold it.I’m sorry Courtney,I love you.You’re such a great
girlfriend.Please,don’t leave me.PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME !” said Adam while
crying.
“You’ll always be my little lady.Please,don’t ever grow
up.Daddy loves you.I’m proud of you.I promise that one day,we’ll meet again out
there.” Said dad.
“Why did you leave me?You’ll be missed,Courtney ! I will
make you another lasagna if you’d like want.But please,don’t leave us !”
I tried to calm them down.Everyone changes.I know I couldn’t
do anything again because whatever happens,happens and nobody is able to change
that.
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