A New Beggining ♡

Feeling numb
Feeling sad.
What, to you I've only changed from worse to bad?
Read more at http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poem/i-dont-have-the-strenght-to-battle-anymore#JeWVKRbVp2drodO7.99

Feeling numb
Feeling sad.
What, to you I've only changed from worse to bad?
Read more at http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poem/i-dont-have-the-strenght-to-battle-anymore#JeWVKRbVp2drodO7.99

Feeling numb
Feeling sad.
What, to you I've only changed from worse to bad?
Read more at http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poem/i-dont-have-the-strenght-to-battle-anymore#JeWVKRbVp2drodO7.99

Feeling numb
Feeling sad.
What, to you I've only changed from worse to bad?
Your eyes misleading.
Your heart deceiving.
I try to hide,
so that no one sees my soul inside.
Read more at http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poem/i-dont-have-the-strenght-to-battle-anymore#JeWVKRbVp2drodO7.99

Feeling numb
Feeling sad.
What, to you I've only changed from worse to bad?
Your eyes misleading.
Your heart deceiving.
I try to hide,
so that no one sees my soul inside.
Read more at http://www.bestteenpoems.com/poem/i-dont-have-the-strenght-to-battle-anymore#JeWVKRbVp2drodO7.99

I felt a pair of strong, warm arms wrap around my shoulders. He glided his fingers into my back.My mind registered the person’s familiar face.On instinct I leaned back, resting my head against his shoulder. Eyes closing, I sighed in content.


The dream always started off the same, just like...... it always ended the same.
From then on I’d wrap my hands around his, tightening my much fingers around his, not really in a possessive manner, but in such a manner that told him I never wanted him to leave. His arms would strain around me, and then he would rest his chin on top of my head. I was always perfectly at soothe there,in his arms
.
.
.
.
.
.

Even if it was just a dream.
Everything seemed to go downhill from there though.

As always I could feel him slipping away. The absence of his warmth would leave me cold. And I always ended up being alone.

Smiling and giggling so happily until tears came out from my eyes when I gather with friends

Yet,burying in bed and bawl myself until I fell asleep


Even in my dreams I found being alone quite difficult, almost too much to bear. It seemed my dreams were the only place I could go to be with him, even if he eventually did leave. Waking up was the hardest part, and I had a feeling it always would be. It meant facing another day, facing another day without him.


Things used to be perfect. We were close and it seemed as if our relationship escalated from there because the next thing I knew was we were more than friends. He won’t even talk to me 24/7 now and that’s the inclement part. Every tear that I shed, was for him and likely nothing else. I used to want him back so badly,it hurts.

I raised an eyebrow, eyes traveling in the same direction I’d turned my own to. I could practically hear her thoughts now. Asking me why I couldn’t just get over him, leave him behind like he’d so easily left me?


But it wasn’t that simple. Love was never that simple.


“Girl you have got to get over that boy. He’s obviously gotten over you. And here you are writing your paper about him. You’re supposed to write about yourself.”

Her words hurt even though she hadn’t meant them to. She had always been the mannerless one and she was always straight to the point, the exact opposite of me. She was telling the truth though, something else she was good at.

He had obviously gotten over me. I could tell by the way he smiled, so carefree and happy.
Why couldn’t I be like that?
All I felt in my heart was longing and jealously as he openly flirted with that girl he was standing with. She was pretty and evidently just as interested in him as he was her.

Not that she could help herself. He was gorgeous even though he tried to act humble about it, something else I loved and admired about him. He’d never been so arrogant to me, which was surprising considering most guys who looked like he did normally were.

But no…he wasn’t just an average boy. No he was more.

My eyes snapped to my dark colored hair as she stared straight at me. She seemed pretty determined. I glanced down at the floor, sighing. “Fine.”

 I wasn’t really writing about myself. I was basically writing about how much I missed him, and how I was heartbroken. And the truth was I didn’t know who I was without him.
I tore my eyes away from everyone around me to one more glance back at him. I watched as he ran a hand through his dark hair, a smile beautifying his face. I watched the way his eyes sparkled as he laughed and how he looked at her.

I swallowed, wishing he still looked at me like that. But that’s all it was. A wish.

I tore what I had written out of my notebook, crumpling it up and tossing it in the trashcan that sat nearby. I took my pencil in hand, ignoring the look of interest he was giving her, and then I wrote the first sentence of a new beginning.