Intercourse Affair

I couldn't be what he really wanted myself to be.
I couldn't be the one he really loved,his only one forever.

It makes me wonder if this was ever meant to be.
How could he want that girl and forget about me?
He says that she could be the one,but everyone knows he'll be hurt when it's done.

How could he give up on something so true?

Now I sit here,telling myself that I can get through.My heart still yearns for him.

His love is what I prefer.
I miss the way it was with him,and now the lights started to dim.Everything inside is dead.
When he told me goodbye,all I could think of is why.

I hate having to act like it's alright,although sometimes I cry.
I hate dwelling with my past,and sitting here wondering why it didn't last.

When we were together,we had lots of fun,we shared dreams.But those dreams changed.
And they left me sad.

I know he have moved on and found someone new.
When I think about our past,my heart pops.

How is that I cry all night,when all he does is smile and thinks that everything is alright?
How is it when I look up at him,he can't look me in my eyes anymore?
And whenever I want to talk to him,all he wants to do is make me cry.

Is it that he takes pleasure in playing games with my heart,ever since I've given it to him?
And all he did is just tear them apart?

How is it impossible for him to declare his love to me at the past,and yet I saw him with another girl the next day?

How did he hold me and look me in the eyes,now then turn around and tell me lies?
When he was in pain,it was only me there standing by his side.
When he had so many doubts and he couldn't find a way,I was the one who knew whatever to say.

He was once so good and kind,so gentle and lovable.
Now when just thinking of him make my knees grew weak.
When his hands were in mine,chills ran up to my spine.

Now the world is upside down.
All the silence between us is now sound.
Fantasies are nightmares,Dreams are like hell.
His lies are effecting me,stressing me,making a mess of me.
Now he has her in his heart.
The same ones that used to protect my worries and stop my fears.

Everything just seemed to fall like that.
I felt so much love cutting beneath my skin.
It's enough to leave me permanently scarred this way.

He's now the love I'm not able to personify again,but only see from distance.
He had me believe that we hadn't fought.
But when I heard the truth,my heart was a knot.I try to hide pain,I pretend it has all got through.
It comes flooding back when I see him with her.

Leaving me stranded was more than enough.But to do what he'd done is way tougher.
I fake a smile while I'm dying inside,but he's all too happy with his heart open wide.

I know how it feels to be an old toy.
To be thrown away for some other girl.

He promised me forever,so I thought he said
"I'd never leave you for anyone in the world."
He promised me a lot but now those are empty.
None of what he said is true,it was all a lie.

I made a huge mistake,but I didn't regret meeting him.
He have taught me quite a bit to look for someone someone better than him.
I've never been through so much pain physically,mentally,and emotionally.

He have made me into a stronger person and I thank him.
So now what I thought we had is completely gone.
I was just another girl to him.

I need to move on.But how?
Forgetting his face,his smile.Allow my feelings to go from love to hostile.
Disaffecting him in a proper way.

Never again to cry for a boy who called himself as a man to me.

I gave him my love and and forgave every horrible things he did to me.
He got my love and forgot what he had.

It still kills me to watch him go.But I can't take being on this depressed highland.

I still can't help but to think,after what we've done so far
Is this even true?
I somehow look into the mirror to let those tears fall.

And I realize that,
What's the point of wiping them when I know they're only going to come back?