Puzzled Sense

I've never been the type to say what I feel,so basically I keep everything inside.
And with him it was no different.

I want to tell him,I've tried.

I have this feeling which makes me think that he falls in love with me.
He makes it seem more than just a feeling again,because he acts like he does.
But there's the part of me that just can't take that chance.
So I doubt that he'll never know.Which may be fine with him,but it's hurting me.
I choose not to show it.

I guess I can call 1/2 part of myself as his secret admirer.
That name seems to fit just right.
I don't know what I like about him.
But he's now always on my mind.

Maybe it's the way he treats me.
Or how he can make me feel when he's around.When we're talking and playing.
I instantly forget all the other stuffs.

Maybe it's the way he calls me names,silly names.
Or maybe it's the way he smiles.
Then again it might just be everything.
Getting to know him seems worth my while.

We started off as strangers then soon became friends.
He told me he loved me,though I didn't feel the same.
Soon after he said that,it all started as a game.
Which soon becomes the truth,but I don't know what makes me love him too.

He's like a brother to me.We're so close to each other.
To him,I might just be a little girl,I swear.He admitted.
But he told me that I could show him a whole new world.
A different point of view from his.

He could brighten my life because he always has jokes to cheer me up.
All I have to do is trust and listen when he says this is love,not just lust.
I can show him what little girls can do.If only he knew what I would do for him.

What he gave to me is priceless,not meaningless.
When I first knew him in the past few years,I never thought we'd be this close.
We're more than friends,yet pinched than couples.
We consider ourselves as a big brother and a little sister.

I didn't know when this feeling came and got me shock when I got out from bed.
It's not right to love him more than a brother,I know.
But I can't force myself to forget him.
He brought color to my life.

Our late night talks,our dumb jokes,awkward moments and all the laughters just makes me fall in love with him more.

Something destroys this thing.
7 months have passed by,how far have me and the old one come?
A fling?
Just lust?
A relationship in the making?
My heart is breaking.

We're now losing connections.
He used to sweep me off my feet.I remember the passion and romance he gave me.
But now shall we throw in the towel?
Or give ourselves another chance?

I now have no idea that we both can rekindle our love again.
I'm about to give up,but everytime I saw him,that glance always gives me hope.

What should I do when I love two?
When I am with one,for the other I long,I can't find a place for my heart to belong.

One promised that he'd always stay,but now he's gone anyway.

His love to me is as clear as a bell.
He promised that I'd always be his little sister,an angel.

We used to love each other very much
But time seperates us,and he's blinded away with another girl's touch.

Now I have found him,a brother,someone new.
And he loves me like the way 'he' used to do.

And now he says that I'm right for him.
But with only half of my heart to love him.

How did I get to this point in my life?
Love really does cut like a knife,
Torn between two lovers, both dear to my heart.
Now I must choose
Choosing means one gets my heart and other departs.

Why is this so hard to do?
How to choose, between the two?
Shall I give a chance to my new love?
Or should I give another chance to my old one?

My old one,his security and familiarity still haunts me.
My new love is a good brother, devoted, fun and caring.

My old one,
Our love was strong and true,
There was nothing we wouldn’t do,
As time passed, resentment grew between us,
Putting fault, blame and mistrust between us.

He left me because he needed the space and time to think, to decide if this is just a waste.
He gave me no choice, I wanted to try,
I still wanted to keep him and our love alive. 

He said, “I just need time to think and get away,
If he want a chance to get me back some way,then he have to relax and give up the chase.
"Just leave me alone and let me have a little space.”
So, I gave him, his wish, I left him alone,
Every now and then I tried to text,
But always the same, “Just leave me alone”

My new love, 
He stayed by my side through all of my pain, 
He said, “It’s alright you’ll love again.”
I tried not to hurt but he wanted the truth,
So, I told him I still love my old one, and that our love was true.
He said, “It’s okay, let’s just enjoy it while we can."
Right now, I’m with him because he's seeking for one.

I couldn’t believe that he still wanted me,
I told myself I can’t do this to him, make him leave.
But the truth was I needed him there with me,leaving him is like losing a brother as a figure.
And as time went on I started to see,
Just how dear he’d become to me.
I didn't tell him I loved him quite by mistake,
But I knew I fell for him and I couldn’t deny what I feel inside.

The feelings I had from the old one is still enigmatic.I tried to move and let him go.
I realize that time goes by slow and perhaps fast without him.
It's hard not to ask the question why I still like him,there's no reason for me to lie.
He didn't have any feelings again for me,he claimed that.

The answer lies true in my heart.
If I tell him (the one I consider as a brother) ,is he going to tear them apart
Or is he going to keep it so only himself knows?

I'm in state of confusion.
Not knowing exactly how to feel,what to feel
Who to choose and whom to let go.

Im stuck between two
Two guys that change my life.
The one who I went out with once,or the one who loves me as a little sister.

It's impossible to love two guys at once in reality.It seems so greedy.
Decisions are hard to make.I know I can't leave it alone.
I can't escape it.
I know I need to do something about it.

My heart was confused and I felt so overwhelmed, I wanted to cry.
Why is this so hard, now I don’t know what to do.
How to choose, between the two?